Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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