Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
