Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
