I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize