just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
