i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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