Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
