At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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