Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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