we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
