she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize