my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
