So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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