tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
