it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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