It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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