I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
