Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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