I'm drive I can fine osifer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
