The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
