how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
