We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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