Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
