I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You pole danced in your parka.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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