I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
