its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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