the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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