so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
