we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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