You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
