someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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