FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
