Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize