i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize