So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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