My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize