When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I love having hate sex.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm getting married
To pizza
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
