i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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