i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
