my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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