I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize