When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
