if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
