I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
