HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
