you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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