Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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