so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
