GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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