Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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(330): View more from Ohio

The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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(740): View more from Ohio

he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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(770): View more from Georgia

good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

(309): View more from Illinois

You rock my world.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so

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