Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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(425): View more from Washington

Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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(406): View more from Montana

the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

you DO IT for the people

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(509): View more from Washington

You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?

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