did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
