you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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