I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
