Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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