He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Small penises have feelings too.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Randomize
