We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
